Given that I've always been concerned about the breakdown of black families, I thought I would reach out to a woman who's made a career out of speaking to the challenges of black relationships. Her name is not Steve Harvey, so she's not a comedian. Instead, she's serious about figuring out what it takes to make our relationships work and she's even asked if the black church keeps women single and lonely. We can't let either black men or black women off the hook when it comes to the breakdown of our families, for both parties react in ways that are reflective of hundreds of years of societal abuse. As a result, black men and women end up angry and hurt by one another with both sides pointing fingers. But at the end of the day, you are the one who is responsible for your own behavior, so if your relationships are all falling apart, your journey must start by glancing into the mirror. While simply choosing better people to date might be part of the solution, that can also be a copout (since you spend your life searching for "the one" who can manage all of your own dysfunction). Instead, honest reflection on the manner by which you go about loving people who come into your life is probably more important. It is because of my concern on this issue that Deborrah Cooper is today's Dr. Boyce Watkins Spotlight for AOL Black Voices.
1) What is your full name and what do you do?
Deborrah Cooper is my given name. I'm a dating expert, writer/columnist and broadcast journalist. I've been writing controversial relationship based articles and dating advice columns under the pen name "Ms. HeartBeat" since 1992. As a matter of fact, I served as the relationship columnist on AOL's "other" Black channel (NetNoir) in the mid- to late 1990s.
